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Sunday 31st October
I arrived in Bangkok at about 8pm (local time). Having never really travelled alone, it was a little daunting but
thankfully there was the ever present - in Asia - smoking lounge to calm my nerves and I needed it for I was yet to run the
gauntlet of the luggage carousel. If you can imagine a standard sized luggage carousel and then shrink that down until
it became the size of one which your sister used to play with when Barbie flew first class, then you are close to conceiving
of the battle that ensued in Bangkok as myself and 100 other burly foreigners (non-thai) squeezed as tightly together as suicidal
sardines, elbows flying like old japanese women entering a train, noises and groans which I had imagined could be heard in
Bangkok spewed forth from people as they fought with their luggage and the other passengers, fortunately, I`d had my cigarette
and I was good to go for another 45 seconds!!!!!
Eventually the carousel was conquered, I had my two bags and my duty free and I could pass into Custom's but not
without failing to realise that I was walking through the wrong aisle, thankfully I went through unchallenged, (something
which wouldn't happen when I returned to Fukuoka and the only bag he didn't open was and is the one containing
my balls! However, I walked through and out of that corridor, someone behind me saying something and into a scene left
out of Bosch's Garden of Delights for being too scary. The Arrival's area in Bangkok airport! Wall to wall taxi
drivers. I knew then as I know now before I return later this year (2004) "Getting out without hiring a taxi was going
to be a chore!"
I walked up and down the concourse looking for my friend, where was she? was there a different door? was there a different
airport? As I walked up the concourse the taxi drivers reacted like sharks do when they smell blood in the water.
Suddenly I was in amongst a writhing mess of bodies. Prices and distances being shouted out in the main European languages.
I didn`t know what to do, when finally the drivers parted a little and I could see my friend.
I was met by Apple and her brother and his wife - Oat and Mam, we strode outside into an evening comparable to Fukuoka
in late August the humidity glueing my shirt to my back immediately, well, one minute and one cigarette was how long it took
until my shirt was a second layer of skin. Oat and Mam went to get the car leaving Apple and I to pass the time of day,
exchange pleasantries, smile a little uncomfortably, grin awkwardly - it was a little guarded. A little while and a
lot of sweat later, Oat and Mam returned with the car, an Isuzu truck, very nice interior and holy of holies a powerful air
conditioner!
The journey to my flat took about 30 minutes in some of the scariest traffic I have ever seen. There is nothing
but aggressive driving in Bangkok. Where Fukuoka drivers are just plain bad ones but all on the same wavelength, the
drivers in Bangkok just don't see you, or your truck or your family! Bangkok drivers have things to do and need to do
them NOW!
My apartment was nice, bigger than cosy but not big enough to be luxurious however as a guy who has been sleeping
on a futon in a room without an air conditioner for two years a double bed beneath an air conditioner was the lap of
luxury! Added to that was a TV with selected cable stations at the foot of the bed and I would like to refer to it as
luxurious! Oh did I mention the English style bath tub - talking length that is!
Oat and Mam being kind hearted souls went off to buy me some essentials for my little apartment for the next few days,
when asked what I wanted the answers beer and coffee were my only recognisable words - both getting a good hearty laugh.
After an hour or maybe longer (I could've been suffering time distillation from the not going to bed on Saturday night) Oat
and Mam returned, but not before Apple and I were able to grow more comfortable around each other, they brought things that
every man needs;- water, juice, coffee, fruit and beer! I will always be grateful for the beer! Pretty soon it
was time for them to leave and time for me to check out my balcony's view then the TV with a beer for company.
Tuesday 2nd November
Apple, Oat, Mam and I went
to Vimanek
Palace – the world’s largest Golden Teak
Mansion where king’s have lived and now mere mortals can have a good look around seeing how the other
half lived. I learned about the Crown Prince with some very interesting bio photo’s,
a trained Buddhist monk, trained soldier (studied in Australia). Also learned about King Rama IV (he who would forever be immortalised as Yul Brynner – they were
both bald) and what exactly happened to Siam. In short, and probably incorrect
for that matter, Siam was huge encompassing Laos,
Burma, Thailand and more. In a time of European colonisation, India and China both having fell to the British – I get a sense
of national pride writing that – Rama IV gave all the attached countries to France and Britain in return for Thailand
remaining independent, clever man!
After Vimanek, we went to
the Joe Louis theatre to watch an excerpt of the Thai version of the Ramayana as performed with marionettes I would’ve
loved to take pics but they requested no still photography and so being nothing if not a thoroughly obedient citizen I obeyed
the request unlike one of the other Farangs! Grrr! There were three people for each puppet, and all 3 and the
puppet moved as one - everything was the same - it has to be seen to be believed. It was impressive and very beautiful.
The performance had a few jokes in it and some audience participation as some of Hanuman's monkey army walked amongst the
audience.
Wednesday 3rd November
On Wednesday I was accompanied by Apple's other brother and family (Oob, Nok and their daughter Ing) I head an idea that
we were heading off to a /the floating market in Gatchaburi - pronounced Katchaburi! Yeah! Confusing a little!
Ing had met me on Monday and at that time was a little fearful of the hairy Farang before her, she started off the car
journey in much the same way but as time passed and city gave way to town to jungle, highway gave way to road to track, so
did little Ing go from fear to curiosity to like - well I think so. Nothing like playing some peekaboo to win a baby
over! Here we have a pic of Ing isn't she adorable.
The next six pics are of the Floating Market in Kanchanaburi province, like so much of Thailand it was very colourful,
and there were hawkers everywhere - but as it is a market I guess I have to forgive them being there, there persistence I
have to admire- I even purchased some incense from one of them. She was nice enough but made me name a price, when I
named one I just felt like a dumb farang - gaijin, foreigner - and second guessed my offer. Always go obscenely low!
Above and below we can see some of those colours I mentioned, mmmm fruit, no doubt some of you are thinking I on the
other hand was thinking hmmm fruit! Never in the history of the world has one letter done so much for one man and his
fear of all things outside of tins! I mean, when I was a kid I honestly thought tins grew on trees! But what a
stunning range of colours, and maybe flavours, perhaps thinking back that would've been my best oppurtunity to eat something
not full of prick - chilli. Beware the prick jokes!
What kinds of things could you buy at the Floating Market? Funny you should ask that question I was just about
to address that very point! There were Buddha's and Babars a plenty, cushions with sequins, sequinned jackets, jacket
potatoes (no that isn't right), sweet potatoes, potatoe incense, patchouli incense (still my favourite), copies of copies
of bags, shirts, blouses and jackets - again. There were more things made from fishbone then I thought there were fish
in the sea, must be big bloody fish! Oh and of course there was more prick then you could shake a rod at!
We left the floating market at sometime in the afternoon, and from there we headed off into "no ideas ville" it was really
quite thrilling having no idea where we were going although Apple had mentioned something about waterfalls so it seemed logical
that at the end of the journey there would be waterfalls! And at the end of the journey there were waterfalls!
However, there was also stuff in between!
For example this delightful temple which we stopped at by chance. Ing had been fed and was sleeping in Nok's lap
when suddenly she threw up all over the place, poor baby. We pulled over and got out the car, I made myself scarce after
looking for some rags, nothing like baby puke to turn one's stomach. So it was that I just looked around and heard a
ringing. I initially discounted it as my tinnitus resurfacing but then noticed the temple in the picture below and furthermore
noted that it had bells on it! Yes it did have bells on it! And that is the picture below the temple.
Not long after the beautiful bell laden temple we pulled to the side of the road and stopped, I hadn't been paying attention
and had no idea why we'd stopped. a few words passed back and forth from Oob to Apple and then to me. We were
at the war cemetry and did I want to see it. I have to admit that initially I didn't want to see it, and for a variety
of reasons; the most selfish being that I was on my vacation and wanted only happy memories of my time in Thailand, a less
selfish reason being that it felt peculiar seeing the graves of the war dead. As it was I got out of the car and then
it hit me, this was the cemetry for the Death Railway as the Thais refer to it. Then my peripheral vision kicked in
and I noticed the foreigners walking through the cemetry no doubt looking for the lost parts of their families. I disrespectfully
took a pic and then felt guilty, but as someone once said we should never forget those that gave of themselves so that we
might live! I will always remember.
Recognise this view? As soon as I saw that bridge I knew what it was, granted I'd had a hint from the cemetry but
there was something about those arches, the actual river and surroundings didn't look like I imagined but the bridge, it could
only be the bridge over the river Kwai. I haven't been to Arnem or the Somme or a concentration camp or anywhere that
is synonymous with war and war suffering that leaps to mind at this moment, but I inadvertently went to the River Kwai.
I always wore a poppy in England, it is the least I can do. Here I found myself walking onto the bridge and feeling
a little nauseous. Surrounding the bridge a kind of resort has come to be. Does Arnem have the Arnem resort?
As I briefly stood upon the bridge I softly whistled Colonel Bogey and then retreated from it, moving to a memorial wall there.
Faithful Browser, I give to you a floating restaurant on the River Kwai. Initially I thought the claim 'Floating'
was akin to my company's about "studying and being gauranteed a better job" but as our lunch drew to a close a boat headed
downstream taking it's passengers on a tour of the river, the restaurant seriously moved up and down, it felt a little sea
sick or it could have been that I had overdone the prick. The meal itself was quite tasty though, I had pad thai noodles,
yummy and not too laden with prick, for those veteran prick feasters there was extra prick available on the tables, I truly
had never seen so much prick.
as is so often the case the food was finished, after causing a frenzy amongst an array of fish in the river we headed
back to the car and moved on in our journey into 'no idea land', after having been in Thailand for almost three days my grasp
of the language was surprisingly useless. It seemed that my natural ineptitude for languages wasn't limited only to
French and Japanese. However, I feel I'm pretty good at inferring meaning from context and body language, in Thai that
was not the case. The intonation there are 5 tones was impregnable to my virginal ears, so it was that I pulled
faces at Ing and stuck my tongue out at her - something she mimicked and apparently it is not a good thing. Ooops.
Anyway, onwards we drove, deeper and deeper into the forest/jungle until we pulled into a parking lot and then everyone
got out of the car.
It was time for the waterfalls!
Perhaps they aren't the most exciting waterfalls you have had the pleasure of seeing, but they were - what is a suitable
adjective? - kind of cool, much more shocking to me was the notion of sleeping out there, in the jungle/forest. Below
you can see the bungalow that I slept in. No Mod Con's! In fact even the mosquitoe net was a little shabby, but
it served as a place to rest my weary head, and I have some great memories of my time in the jungle!
Before going to bed, we had a nice evening meal, well cooked fish with garlicy rice and lots of prick! Not being
a fish eater I was a little worried, but the fish was delicious, a great evening repast. I had a couple of tins of beer
and gave a couple to Oob. Very nice night.
Friday 5th November
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